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9 Period Positions Everyone With A Uterus Has Mastered



Big fan of the “I am one with the couch” position.


The “Now I’m a Starfish” position:

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When you have absolutely no energy to get out of bed and deal with life.


The “Fetal Forever” position:

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When the cramps are this strong, you snuggle into the tightest ball possible.


The position “I am one with the sofa”:

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When you’ve gathered enough energy to get up, but only to your couch, where you plan to spend the next 24 hours bingeing on TV, eating junk food, and sleeping.


The position of “SpongeBob Meme but in pain”:

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When you’re at school / work / wherever and the cramps really start, and you just have to wait because you don’t have painkillers on hand (or they just don’t work) … Not much can do it, but put your head down and wait for the pain to pass.


The message “Okay, now the pain is going through my back?” position:

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When your cramps decide to temporarily leave your uterus and vacation somewhere in your lower back. GOOD TIMES.


The “I guess I live here now” position:

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When you have to spend what seems like forever in the bathroom because there’s a lot of blood and poop, and who the hell knows what else comes out, and you think, “Well, there’s no point getting up now.”


The “Let’s burn this son of a bitch” position:

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When you need ALL the heat to ease your cramps.


The message “I’ve done it!” position:

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When you have found ONLY the correct position of the body parts to stop the cramps and you don’t want to move because you are afraid the cramps will return.


And, of course, the message “It’s finally over!” position:

Crystal Ro / BuzzFeed

When your period finally ends and you feel an overwhelming sense of joy so good it feels like you’re floating … until next month, anyway.

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