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Move these toxic relationships to social media offline for National Unfriend Day



The initiative began in 2010 on Kimmel’s program, where he advised his audience, “post a status update that says,“ I’m going to move this weekend and I need help. ”People who respond? “These are your friends. Not everyone else.”

He has recognized the unofficial party for many years afterwards.

CNN has contacted ABC to comment on this occasion, but has not received a response.

Since then, the virtual world has become more integrated with the physical as well as more politically divided. With the magnitude of the information approaching, it is important to be selective about who can enter our virtual world, he said. Susana Flores, a licensed clinical therapist for the nonprofit organization Ochsner Health of New Orleans and author of the book “Facehooked.”

“Social media is a very wonderful tool to make us feel happier and on the contrary, it can be overwhelming because in today’s world, a virtual world, we are receiving multiple messages from various sources for various hours of the day,” he said. Flowers. . “The mind is not designed to handle all of this.”

You need emotional energy to filter out the posts that bring you closer to people and those that can affect your nerves, and even more energy to figure out how to resolve those bad feelings.

While we used to debate with friends in person, agree to disagree, and then have a beer, now we often use public posts and isolated messages to communicate in a way we would never face, he said.

Worse, with so much influx of information, people really only have the attention span to look at the headlines and debate without really understanding the nuance, Flores added.

“We should be able to have these conversations. We think we’re having these conversations, but we don’t really do that,” he said.

The result is that sometimes it is better for us not to participate online, where the problem cannot always be solved. This can mean taking a break from online platforms, stopping following, stopping a friend, or even blocking people whose posts cause you stress, anger, or anxiety.

It can be a difficult decision to cut someone off from your virtual world, so Flores gave three factors to consider when making the decision to join a conversation, stop following their posts, or stop friend.

I choose

The first thing to keep in mind is your own feelings, Flores said.

“For people who are too complacent or empathetic, it feels selfish, but it really isn’t,” Flores said. “We forget what’s good for us.”

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She advises you to listen to your body when you find these posts: How does my body feel? Does this cause me stress?

“If you feel like constriction in the chest area … that’s usually a sign,” Flores added.

It is also important to give yourself permission to set boundaries.

“It’s about setting boundaries like,” please don’t send me messages about this. He doesn’t do anything for me, “Flores said.” If they can’t respect that, of course he’s a friend. “

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Equal effort

Instead of getting rid of friends, there may be an impetus to debate with those who post something that makes you uncomfortable, but not all fights will be worth the cost to your mental health, he said.

Participating in controversial debates, let alone on a virtual platform, requires a lot of effort, and Flores said it’s only worth participating if the other person is also willing to engage in a mature conversation.

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“That means we’re not beyond someone else’s energy,” he said. “It’s like a little dance, like I’ll give if you give. If you retire, maybe I’ll retire a little.”

Rely on your own understanding of this person, whether a friend, family, or acquaintance online casually, to decide how open they would be to match your energy, he said. This context makes it often more fruitful to discuss with people you know well and who can predict what an exchange might be like.

For those casual acquaintances, deciphering how a conversation might go could become too much emotional strain for payment, he added. In these cases, it’s best to limit your interactions with these posts by stopping following or stopping as a friend.

I will not be despised or despised

You don’t have to advocate for someone to be disrespectful, hurtful, or cruel to you in their posts or in the conversations that follow, Flores said.

“It doesn’t mean you have to block people, but it usually means that there has to be some kind of conversation to recognize or establish your self-esteem,” he said. “Otherwise, you’ll sit back and be grateful for what you’ve just seen on social media.”

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Flores recommends that conversations be done in person or even over the phone, where there may be more nuances to the discussion, but even a text or private message can make the ball work.

“It may be an online personal message like,‘ that bothered me, and I hope we can have a conversation about it, ’Flores said.

Or, if you’re not ready to enter the conversation, you can send a message to start a future conversation like, “That’s my thought, and I just need to send you to marinate it so we can have a discussion later.”

It may seem very important to stop following or stop being someone’s friend if the conversations don’t go well, but Flores stressed that maintaining mental well-being is important and that the actions you take to care for yourself don’t have to be permanent.

“You can always come back to see how they’re doing and if they’re good for you,” he added.


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