While the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan insisted in a statement
On Wednesday that “all women and girls should be able to be safe on London Street at all times,” Metropolitan Police are conducting door-to-door investigations during the investigation into Everard’s disappearance. according to the Sun.
, warned women not to go out alone. He answer
of many women
was one of the outraged indignation
. Why should we restrict our freedoms when men have an immense probability of attacking people? both at home
? Why is it always up to women to avoid being attacked?
The contrast in online and social media conversations about this case has been especially illuminating at this point, as women in the UK speak out to share their experiences of feeling insecure. Some women
– including me
– suggested one curfew
for men after Everard’s disappearance. Some men, understandably
, he hated the idea and found it unfair. But, in my case, the suggestion was primarily to illustrate the absurdity of asking women to limit themselves as a solution to a security problem that begins overwhelmingly with men.
The notion that a woman does something irresponsibly dangerous walking home alone collapses as soon as a man considers it perfectly okay to do the same. The danger is not inherent in the victim’s behavior. It is in the choice and actions of the author. But women are constantly taking responsibility for reducing opportunities for violence on behalf of aspiring to attack.
The men I know, on the other hand, appeared largely
alien to history until Wednesday, when women are online he began to comment
about their relative silence. Some men asked what they should do to help and if it might be helpful to cross the street if they walk behind women in the dark. London mayoral candidate Shaun Bailey presented his condolences
as a concerned “father and husband”, saying he felt heartbroken that his wife and daughter had to live in fear in their own city, he has even promised to “deliver for the safety of women and girls “if he were elected.
It was a beautiful one unsatisfactory
statement for women who are not tied to men with any of their functions, but who still care about their own safety. And while well-meaning men would no doubt naturally point out that their immediate thought was also for the well-being of their female loved ones, the persistent framing of women’s value in relation to the role they play in men’s lives, especially by public figures, are thin.
#MeToo similarly saw constant references to male concern “as a father of daughters”. They he asked the question
whether these men would have thought of worrying about sexual assault if they had no children – or, in addition to fearing the safety of their daughters, they might think of teaching their sons to respect and care for women, already whether or not they have anything in common with them. A blind woman amid the online fury of the last few days described the horror
of being regularly assaulted by people who seek to help her. Her reality is alien to the large proportion of the population, but empathy for her or anyone’s circumstances should not require any personal connection or experience.
Some men suggested it was women “responsibility
“to avoid danger, with one suggesting to me on Twitter that women should not make ‘bad decisions’ and do ‘dangerous things.’ offended
even for the implication that women should distrust it. Some pointed out that men are even more likely
be victims of violent crimes than women.
But while it is true that men are more likely to be violently murdered, so are they much, much more likely to kill men and women
. And women tend to live with much more fear of violence than men, mainly because for them the damage, when it happens, most often occurs at the hands of someone they know. And whether her attacker is known or not, it is significantly harder for an average woman to defend herself against the normal man.
A large proportion of male homicides occur because men are more likely to get into one gang-related struggle
with other men or committing violent crimes. Women are more likely to be attacked and murdered by women his partner
, and constitute the vast majority of domestic violence
victims: a point seemingly overlooked when they are told to stay inside for their own safety. In 2013, women aged 15 to 44 worldwide
they were more likely to die or be maimed because of male violence than because of war, cancer, malaria, and traffic accidents combined. Women are much more likely be raped
The more personal and specific nature of violence against women is reflected in their daily experiences. According to a new, most women in the UK have been sexually harassed YouGov poll for UN Women in the UK
. Among the people who said the event was not serious enough to report were women who had been palpated, followed and coerced into sexual activity. Even if these cases do not end in physical violence, although many do
– reminders of our vulnerability i lack of faith
with authority to deal with them, they are constant, as are our behavioral changes in response.
Women are advancing across the UK
and beyond to describe the insecurity they feel in their daily lives. From childhood, many women living in urban areas are taught to take a taxi home if it’s late, to grab the keys between their knuckles as they walk if they can’t afford it, not to wear headphones. at night and constant gaze at an unknown figure in the dark.
Men can rightly cite statistics about their vulnerability to murder. But as the reaction to this horrible story demonstrates, while men are more likely to be in danger, women are more likely to do everything they can to avoid it.
The blame for what happened to Sarah Everard should be on the author or authors of her fate and no one else. And for any man curious or confronted by last week’s conversation, it may be worth taking a break to consider women’s lived experience and how this may be different from theirs. No doubt their empaths will soon understand why Sarah’s story has impacted so much.